Friday, August 13, 2010

Russ J***** Talks to Animals

45 Miles

I rode up on a wood chuck sitting on the road today.
"Hey woodchuck.  You're going to get run over." 
(Woodchuck doesn't move.) 
"What's the matter woodchuck?  What's it like to be a woodchuck?" 
(Woodchuck looks up and bolts.)
"Alright then.  Nice talking to you woodchuck.  Say 'hi' to your mother for me, OK." 

I approach a deer as I'm climbing the toughest part of the hill with the wind in my face.
"Hey deer.  How's it going?  Hey dear, give me a tow, would ya!"
(Deer looks at me and bounds off leaping over the fence and disappears.)
"Alright then.  Nice talking to you deer.  Say 'hi' to your mother for me, alright"

If you didn't get it, watch this SNL link.

I got up early this morning and pedaled over to Mike's house in the dark.  I watched an awesome sun rise over my shoulder.  I've never appreciated sun rises before I began riding with Mike, mostly because I'm never awake enough to see one.  It's all up hill to Mike's house and I was struggling to wake up in the 8 miles before I met up with him.  We finally met up and pedaled down the trail.  We took it easy, gabbing and catching up from our two week hiatus.  Round trip, I had in 27 miles before I even went to work.  Add in my 3 mile round trip commute to make it an even 30 miles.

I don't really know what possessed me, but I decided to do a lunch ride up to Pictograph Caves and back, another 15 miles for a total of 45 miles today.  It was really cool outside when I started the ride, probably about 60 degrees.  That was part of the appeal.  It was also overcast and somewhat drizzling on and off.  I started out cold but eventually warmed up as I cranked it up Colburn Road to the TV antennas.  I made really good time even though I fought a slight headwind on my way up. 

As I approached the drop off on the other side, I determined I had time to go to the bottom and come back up.  I'd have a headwind going down so the ride back up shouldn't be so bad.  As I flew down the hill, I gripped the brakes hard.  I was uneasy with the combination of speed, wind and wet asphalt so I played it safe.  I still had some time when I made it to the bottom so I went the rest of the way in to Pictograph Caves.  I've never made it that far during a lunch break. 

As I turned around at Pictograph Caves something horrible happened.  The wind shifted and picked up.  I was now fighting the wind that was supposed to blow me up the mile and a half long hill.  Grrrrr!  I shifted down and grunted as I cranked the pedals, thighs burning.  That's when I came across the wood chuck (ground hog for you Easterners) and I actually did speak to it.  "Hey woodchuck.  You're going to get run over!"  When I had to swerve because it didn't move, I did ask "What's the matter woodchuck?"  I exagerated the rest.

Still huffing and puffing up the hill, I came upon a doe mule deer.  She bounded away from me effortlessly up the hill.  I watched in amazement and that's when I mustered the breathe to shout "Hey dear, give me a tow, would ya!"  Again, I exaggerated a little after that.  I promise, talking to animals isn't a normal occurrence, besides 'mooing at the cows, but it did give me that extra push I needed to get me up the hill and take my mind off the wind and cold.  I was glad to get back to the office, also a rare occurrence.

After work Sarah and I played three aggressive games of racket ball.  I'm pooped and I still have to get ready for our 33 mile NAMI ride tomorrow morning.  Hope I survive the weekend.

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